Clash of the pinheads: World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon announced that on April 1, he and Donald Trump will have wrestlers compete on their behalf in the “Battle of the Billionaires” at WrestleMania #23 (which will fall between WrestleMania #22 and WrestleMania #24). If Trump’s wrestler loses, McMahon will get to cut Trump’s hair. “It won’t take much time,” said McMahon, “it’s really only one hair that runs continuously over most of his head.” Crash! President Bush reported that there are two Iraqi bloggers who said things were getting better in Iraq. What the president didn’t mention was that their Internet hasn’t been set up yet. Better spaces: The Los Angeles Dodgers are raising stadium parking prices by $5, from $10 to $15. “I know many people are upset by the price increase,” said Dodger parking lot director Snug Fit. “But our spaces are 150 percent better than before. Unfortunately they’re not any larger.” Life dies: Time Inc. announced that it will close Life magazine, now distributed as a weekend newspaper supplement. The issue dated April 20, 2007, will be the magazine’s last. Nothing funny here, but couldn’t resist the title of this story. Welcome back: Peter Tilden mans the mike at KABC … again. Steve Young is author of “Great Failures of the Extremely Successful” (www.greatfailure.com). I think it’s for you: Naomi Campbell celebrated finishing her community service by throwing her cell phone at the nearest available maid. It depends what your definition of talent is: “American Idol” contestant Sanjaya Malakar confounded the experts by making it through the cuts and into the show’s final 10. “It’s really beyond me,” said the incompetent 17-year-old singer. “I’ve tried everything to get voted off and yet they still vote for me. If I’m still on next week, I’m thinking of tattooing my head with dirty pictures of Simon Cowell and singing `Mary Had A Little Lamb’ in Farsi. I figure that should nail the championship for me.” Senior moments party: Sixty-year-old Bill Clinton joined Elton John’s 60th birthday party in front of 20,000 people at Madison Square Garden. “I showed up to pay my respect for Elton’s seemingly endless reservoir of talent,” said the former president. “And also, with Elton there, I figured that there would be less competition for the chicks.” Less is more … or at least employable: Circuit City fired 3,400 of its higher-paid employees (some making as much as $15 an hour) and is replacing them with lower-paid workers. “We figured that since most of our customers who need their questions answered have no idea if the answer they get is right or wrong,” Circuit City Quality Control Manager Chintzy McFrugal explained, “why waste money paying those employees who know the right answer?” McFrugal believes that working with Circuit City is still a solid career. “We promise a good future. Just not with us.” He just couldn’t take anymore: In what stunned most Washington insiders, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has asked for his own resignation. “I was listening to the vacillating nonsense I’ve been spewing over the past couple of weeks and realized I had no choice but to let me go,” said the suddenly spine-growing Gonzales. “I just can’t continue to let this department be sullied by people like me. Now I hope I can just continue to do the job I just fired myself from in peace.” Politics has nothing to do with these political firings: Kyle Sampson, the former chief of staff for Gonzales, testified that the firings of the eight prosecutors were not political. “Political would be if I didn’t fire those prosecutors that Karl Rove wanted me to,” Sampson said. “Then, I would need to contact all the politicians who wanted me to fire the prosecutors to help me get another job. See?” Time to go through the old clothes again: First Batman, then Superman and now the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ film, “TMNT,” has shown that movie franchises – even those that have long been left for dead – can renew and succeed. Up for sequel: “Planet 9 From Outer Space II (P9FOST),” “Son of the Mask II (SONTMT)” and “Gigli II (G2).” Home is where I say it is: What first seemed like a victory for Democrats in the House turned out to be a geographical blunder as a date for soldiers to come home was inserted into an Iraq war funding bill. Only after the bill was approved was Nancy Pelosi told that the home they would come to was Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki’s.